Fun euphemisms for "period"

What do you call your period?  Here are some fun phrases:

• "Aunt Flow is visiting" (and she has red hair, and stays 5 days, and is sometimes grouchy)
  
• "Closed for maintenance"
  
• "My cup of joy is overflowing"
  
• "Preparing for unborn children"
  
• "Red Dot Special"
  
• "Rebooting the ovarian operating system"

• "With Moses" here's an amusing story about this euphemism, shared by a young man... "Back in high school, in my Christian Youth Group, the girls made up a Biblical reference to their periods. They would refer to a girl in menses as being 'with Moses.' Obviously, they did this so us guys wouldn't overhear them talking about personal matters. But one day I inadvertently cracked the code. I was sitting around talking with two female friends, and one said to the other, 'I'm with Moses now and it's such a pain,' to which I innocently replied, 'I don't get it. What's so painful about parting the Red Sea?' The RED Sea. I immediately realized what they were talking about, and they made me swear never to tell any of the other guys in our youth group what their code meant. I guess the secret is out now."  (From Museum of Menstration - note: I don't recommend that specific page of the site - not all the euphemisms are wholesome)
  
• and the phrase "The Way of Women" comes from the story in Genesis of Rachel, sitting on her camel when her suspicious father came looking for the missing household gods after she left with Jacob.  She said, "Let not my lord be angry that I cannot rise before you, for the way of women is upon me." (Genesis 31:35 ESV).  Also, this phrase is used to describe Sarah, when God promised Abraham she would have a son - "Now Abraham and Sarah were old, advanced in years. The way of women had ceased to be with Sarah." (Genesis 18:11 ESV)

Now, what creative phrases do you use?  Add a comment below with a sentence of how you would use it in context!